A really awkward boy in my class asked me to his birthday dinner via facebook message. He’s the type of boy you’re nice too but keep your distance because you’re not sure if he try to kill or convert you. How do I say no without him trying to do both?
December 10, 2010 § 1 Comment
Z: Note to guys out there: asking a girl out on a date via facebook message is equivalent to breaking into her home and using your own blood to write PLEASE LOVE ME on her bathroom mirror. Not kidding. It’s all kinds of wrong. 100% chance he’s a weirdo, and even better chance he’s going to try to kill you. I’m talking plastic bag over your head while he chants the prophesies of Nostradamus at you. Avoid.
You know what? I’ve changed my mind. I think you should go. He doesn’t sound awkward or murderous; he sounds desperate. Totally different things. Awkward means he’ll spend a few minutes explaining why he just ended his story about Power Rangers comic books with ‘and then I found five dollars’. Yikes. Desperate means he’ll pay for your dinner and offer to go down on you as his self-birthday present to you. Take the dinner. Decline the latter. Tell him it’s the thought that counts.
L: Tell him that you will only go if he knows how to play the Number Game. He will ask what the Number Game is. You reply: 6969696969696969. If he says he does know how to play, then he is a creep. If he says he doesn’t know how to play, he considers Jesus Christ his BFF. If he doesn’t reply…you can thank me via Liquor/Fruit basket.
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