Last-weekend-of-the-semester-crazy-black out-before exam-hook ups… good idea or the best idea? You think there will be a ridiculous amount of people on the prowl this weekend?

December 8, 2010 § Leave a comment

Z: I’ll go with great idea. Like #2 on the list. Best idea would be a few hours spent putting together a high quality goth photoshoot. Laura and I actually have that at the top of our to do list (P.S. I filed a missing persons report for Laura yesterday), but we’re working up the courage to go into Hot Topic to acquire the necessary attire. I’m scared of being called a conformist by a girl with a Monroe piercing and encyclopedic knowledge of the lyrics to every My Chemical Romance song (from before they sold out, of course).

I would even go so far as to say that hammertime finals hookups are a necessary study tool. The trick is to go for someone you’d otherwise NEVER stoop so low as to let talk to you, let alone enter you/enter. You’ll wake up the next day wanting to study for that organic chemistry test, so you can learn about new compounds to use to scrub the shame and self loathing off your genitals. And even when you’re physically clean, you’ll want to forget about last night’s disaster so badly that you’ll focus all your attention on prepping for your exams. It’s like Adderall, but with sloppier blowjobs and more vomit.

Let’s face it – you’re going to find new ways to avoid studying. You’ve always sorta a little bit wanted to watch every episode of M*A*S*H, and now seems like the perfect opportunity. And your socks are just dying to be organized alphabetically by fabric type. How about you take all of that self destructive energy and channel it into one or two nights of desperate, trivial boning? It’s the American way.

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