Im all out of whey protein, where am i gonna get the amino acids i need for muscle mass?

November 29, 2010 § Leave a comment

Z: You’re in luck – Today is Cyber Monday! So when you’re finished cybering, I guess it’s as good a day as any to buy some new protein. Consider your other options first, though. As I always say: Where there’s a will there’s a whey, and where there’s a major highway there’s TONS OF ROADKILL. It’s free, high in the crucial protein you’ll need after burning out those glutes on 800 lb. squats, and you can commemorate your radtastic mass gains by mounting the heads of your nutrient sources on the wall. You’ll even get a workout loading the dead animal carcasses into your car! Sure beats the hell out of a boring old 10 pound tub of double chocolate ultra extreme whey isolate, right?

But if you’re really serious about your body (and I can tell that you are), you might be better off with the good stuff. And by good stuff I mean copious amounts of anabolic steroids. Winter is a great time for a vacation in Mexico, where the weather is warm, farm animals are willing to do just about anything for a price, and growth hormones are cheap and plentiful. Stock up and you’ll be on your way to beefcake status back in the ol’ US of A in no time. And just when it’s time for a new cycle, three words (and a number) my friend: Cancun Spring Break 2011.

Submit questions anonymously here.

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