My roommate has never cleaned our bathroom, I always have to do it. Also, she has stop doing her other apartment chores, and owes me money for cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and hand soap. How do I deal with this bitch in an efficient way?

November 18, 2010 § Leave a comment

Z: This is simple. Kill her.

Disclaimer: Don’t kill her.

L: This is an issue I could talk about for days but can’t because we have just launched our twatter and it is very time consuming. But this is what I suggest.

1. Invite people over that you know she likes/respects/lusts for.  And while entertaining, say something to the effect of “Dude, stop leaving your douche bags in the sink, I live here too you know.” It doesn’t matter if you’re lying; truth is a mere distraction.
2. Keep everything in your room. Toilet paper, soap, tooth paste, shower curtain, bathtub, etc. Just bring them in when you need them and take them out when you are done.
3. Call me old fashion, but giving her a good ol’ pussy slap might help.
4. Steal money from her often.
5. Tell her mom that you are worried about her preoccupation with The Man Show
6. If she has a pet small enough to be put in the toilet on a regular basis…do I have to spell it out for you?
7. Never flush the toliet…I don’t care what is in there…DO NOT FLUSH
8. Brush your teeth so hard that your gums bleed, (you seem pretty anal, so you probably do that anyways) spit in the sink and dont wash it down.
9. When you take all the hair out of your brush, lay it on the toilet seat.
10. Finally, find a homeless man (if you don’t feel like it, you could do this last suggestion yourself) and have him pee in each corner of her room.

Handling this type of issue like an adult (i.e. talking to her about what is bothering you) isn’t my style, so this probably will not solve the problem. But you are a girl and girls don’t like solving problems, we like to humilate and destroy. I am just giving advice based on female survival instinct.

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