What’s love got to do with it?

November 9, 2010 § Leave a comment

L: Love is pretty convoluted. It’s a combination of insecurity, lust, vodka, power dynamics and hand holding. So it really depends how much credence you give those 5 things.

Z: On a scale from 1 – Everything, love only has about a 4.8 to do with it. It can be fairly important, but it’s really just a secondhand emotion.

If you’d like to figure out how much something has to do with it for yourself, use this formula.

(Activities you did on your first 3 dates) x (Sum of the # of bases you let him reach on those three dates) x 1.1 = How much something has to do with it

1.1 is what I call the Desperation Constant. No matter what, everyone is at least a little desperate.

So on those three dates, let’s say you went to dinner twice and saw Avatar once. You gave up 4 total bases on those three dates (third base on the first date, you naughty girl). Now let’s do the math.

Dinner = 2 x 4 x 1.1 = 8.8            Avatar = 1 x 4 x 1.1 = 4.4

So in your case, food has 8.8 to do with it, and James Cameron has 4.4.

There is one exception to this equation called Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Law. It states that if any of these first three dates ends with butt sex, the answer is always Anal = Everything to do with it.

Submit questions anonymously here.

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