I just recently lost my virginity to a guy I work with and he doesn’t seem interested in me anymore, should I care?
November 1, 2010 § Leave a comment
Z: In my unprofessional opinion, no. Dude probably did you a favor, as it’s an unfortunate truth that we’ve commodified sex in the workplace. You can make this work for you. 100% chance your work buddy has already told your coworkers about the sexcapades you two had. Don’t fret. The looks you’ve been getting will only be uncomfortable until you take control of the situation. Embellish the story. You didn’t lose your V card. You discovered that you’re a natural pro who completely demolished this guy in the sack. Middle management by day, CFO by night (and the F doesn’t stand for Financial). Or by lunch hour, depending on how imaginative you get with your tale. Upper management will come aknockin’, because that’s what old white men with Cialis prescriptions and mistresses do. Might as well use this to your advantage. Drop suggestive references about becoming a ‘partner.’ Say that they should rename the Board of Directors the ‘Board of Dick Wreckers’ and make you chairwoman. I don’t know, horny old white guys eat that up. The old boys club really is a bunch of boys, just now with real Porsches instead of Hot Wheels. Be sure to dress the part too. Nothing shatters the glass ceiling more easily than six inch stiletto heels. God bless corporate America.
L: First of all, HIGH FIVE on the V card destruction! Hope you took pictures to put in your scrapbook. I know I did. But I personally think that you shouldn’t care. In theory, your virginity is a “big deal,” but in reality, it’s like farting in public. Not really sure if you should be embarrassed or relieved, right? And since it’s just a fart/your virginity, you and other people are going to get over it eventually. As for this coworker…sounds like any other guy that was looking to get it in with no other agenda. Pretty normal. You should follow in his footsteps. Sex is like a sport – the more points/partners you accumulate, the better you get. As well as more commercial deals and addictions. It is time to start scoring some points, my fellow teammate. And do it with a smile and a condom.
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