HELP! I’m set to get married in a week to a great guy I love but another man I’ve secretly wanted for years told me he loves me too. I can see myself with either of them. What should I do??

October 26, 2010 § 1 Comment

L: What we have on our hands is potentially a new reality show: Brother Husbands. Polygamy is the new black. And everyone looks good in black. If you are a conformist and don’t agree with that lifestyle, then sorry. I don’t give advice to people who hate human rights and fun, except when paid. (personal checks and babies are accepted, but cash in small bills is preferred.)

Also see this advice.

Z: If this was a movie, you’d run off with the bad boy turned auto mechanic with the heart of gold who you’ve had a crush on since high school, leaving the loving but fatally neglectful career man at the altar. Don’t. You aren’t Julia Roberts, and this isn’t one of the many shitty movies where she seems to do this.

Instead of getting your jollies by picturing the other dude as some Billy the Badass Biker character, think of him as nothing more than his low credit score and Certificate of Completion from ITT Tech’s six month online course in Vending Machine Engineering. He may have a five year plan and a list of priorities, but he’s got you pegged at #3 behind his Harley named Rhonda and a burgeoning amphetamine addiction. Few things scream love quite like meth mouth.

Look, you’re no longer a horny sixteen year old girl. Get your own priorities straight. Think more Pretty in Pink, less Breakfast Club. Marry the guy you know you should. You won’t always be happy, but at least you won’t ever come home from work to discover that he sold the fridge to his dealer.

Submit questions anonymously here.

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