Can you suggest some good literotica for my reading pleasure? And do not say literotica.com.

October 21, 2010 § 1 Comment

L: This is all dependent on your personal taste, but here is a list of my top ten:

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin
All and any Bill O’Reilly books
The Bible…specifically the Garden of Eden part. I think that is what it is called.
Paula Dean Cook Books
http://www.celibacy.info/
Animal Farm by George Orwell
http://www.mjblige.com/
Eleanor Roosevelt: A Biography by Cynthis M. Harris
Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler

I am usually opposed to literotica, because not everyone can read, but these are my all-time favorites.

Z: While I do love reading gently used erotic literature, my real passion is writing my own, Mad Lib-style. I’ll write a story in a moment of exhilarating creativity, after which I spray the paper with Stetson and lovingly place it in a lavender scented envelope. I like to let them age for a minimum of 6 months in the freezer, and by the time I take them out, I have inevitably forgotten what they are about. It’s like a combination of the best aspects of Christmas and Alzheimer’s.

Here’s a story I just pulled out today. It still smells faintly of raw masculinity and the gentle scent of a woman. Pure sex.

Doug, a strapping young (race/ethnicity) man, picked up the (building material) in his big, burly hands. “(Something you say when you’re lifting a heavy object),” he exclaimed, as he carried it across the construction site. Looking to the (direction on a compass), he saw a stunningly beautiful woman with enormous (synonym for breasts). Without a word, Doug dropped what he was carrying and walked over to this mysterious woman. Then they had sex.

Clean up, aisle Zach.

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