What do i do if I’m trying to be friends with a famous person (and by famous i mean will make a million dollars soon)…in the meantime this exact famous person is trying to screw the girl im into and is asking me to hook him up?

October 14, 2010 § Leave a comment

Z: I’ll break this down into two parts.

What do i do if I’m trying to be friends with a famous person

I’ve found stalking to be an effective method. Not like a mouth breathing weirdo though. That’s bush league. You need to pick your target and learn everything about him. What is his favorite sports team? Buy two tickets to a game. Legit ass seats. Favorite foods? Make a list. Does he have a pet? Go buy the same kind (or adopt). Style? Copy it. With that squared away, it’s time to rendezvous. I recommend the grocery store. He’ll be vulnerable, and there’s a good chance he’ll keep talking to you if he thinks you might have a free sample to offer. So lets practice. You see him in the cereal aisle, and you gently bump your cart into his. Look surprised. Now say, “Oh, hello there George Clooney! Fancy seeing you here! My pet pig and I were just doing some weekly shopping, and what are the odds we see you? I have cheese cubes. Why, are we wearing the same tuxedo?? Isn’t that something! So what are you here for? Myself, I’m just here to get a few rib eyes. Just gonna throw on some peppercorn butter and basil sauce. You know, the usual. What? That’s your favorite food? Mine too! Hey, this may seem completely out of the blue, but I have two box seats to next week’s Cincinnati Bengals game that you probably won’t want to go to.. Oh, your favorite team? Well look at that! We should hang out some time! I have cheese cubes.” Wasn’t that easy?

in the meantime this exact famous person is trying to screw the girl im into and is asking me to hook him up?

If he’s famous, you’re the one who’s screwed.

L: as effective as stalking is…i suggest telling this guy/your friend that she is pre-op.

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